[00:00:00] Welcome to the Rebecca Adehill Podcast. I wanna start off by saying that I want my name to remind you to go and live your life big, to take risks, to go all in and write one hell of a story with one life. You know that you have. I'm a seven-figure business mentor, wife and mother of three, and I'm here to share my journey with you as I am constantly moving in the direction of more, more ness, more impact, more wealth, more depth, and more life.
[00:00:38] My aim with this podcast is to activate and inspire you to go and live your life big in the fullest, most passionate way. I'm so glad that you are here, so let's dive right in.
[00:00:55] Hello everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Rebecca Adehill [00:01:00] podcast. I hope that you are having the most wonderful start to your week today. Today, I wanna have a conversation with you that I just intuitively feel is needed right now. I wanna talk to you about certain traits, about us, about you, about me, about everyone in this world that we believe may not be good for us or we don't appreciate or even like, or look at these traits in a good light because we believe we can't hold those traits or be in, in a certain way in order for us to do certain things. So what I mean by this, and this is often conversations I have with clients of mine who feel overwhelmed. They feel lack of confidence. They are sensitive. [00:02:00] You know, they, they easily to get caught up in stress and they have imposter syndrome or they shy or they, you know, whatever it might be.
[00:02:10] They say all these things about themselves that they believe isn't a good trait to have, and I held the belief for a long time that I am extremely sensitive, and I also do believe that's very true. I'm a very sensitive, sensitive person, or I feel like I'm a very sensitive person. Now, maybe that doesn't come across on the surface that I'm a sensitive person, but I'm really sensitive.
[00:02:40] And I used to make that wrong about me for a very long time, that being sensitive wasn't good. And everyone speaks about having thick skin in business and how important it is to, you know, give less fucks. You know, just go [00:03:00] out, you know, go on about your day, just be ruthless, keep moving. Like, gosh, love all of those things, but, I feel like that is harder for me to hold than really like meeting myself in terms of where I'm at.
[00:03:18] So I want you to think about something right now. Where you feel I am, insert whatever you believe that you are. I get easily overwhelmed. I get, I am not good enough to do this, or I am really sensitive, or I am X, Y, and Z. Just think about something right now. The first thing that I wanted to change is to say, instead of saying I am, I wanted to do the slightest shift and to say I feel so instead of saying and putting the label on the self as I am sensitive.
[00:03:55] I feel sensitive that we can then acknowledge the feeling that, that [00:04:00] it's actually not a label that's a part of us that is fixed within us that cannot be shakeable. That if you feel overwhelmed instead of I am overwhelmed, I even like to call it that, I do overwhelm because doing overwhelm and feeling overwhelmed is actually a choice.
[00:04:19] And often overwhelm happens when we don't have our priorities right or when we are trying to be somewhere we are not. And then we feel and do really overwhelm. So the first like slightest little shift that I wanted to make is that instead of saying, I am, I wanted to say, I feel, I feel, or I do. I do overwhelm right now.
[00:04:42] I feel really sensitive right now because often all of these emotions that we feel we make them wrong, which means that we make ourselves wrong. So the internal dialogue that we will start to have with ourselves is not very kind. [00:05:00] And when we operate from that space, when we are not very kind to ourselves and our internal dialogue is not very supportive, that is going to affect every area of your life and something that I have had to navigate over the years is to actually learn to be my own biggest fucking cheerleader. And that doesn't not just mean to like cheer me on like, fuck, fear. Like you're never gonna feel sensitive ever again. Like thick skin, be ruthless. That is not what I'm saying, but what I am saying [00:05:36] is how I look at those parts of myself that really needs my attention. There needs a bit of extra love and compassion. So instead of making myself wrong for feeling those feelings, I look at myself with great love and curiosity [00:06:00] and I ask myself, I. Rebecca, that little girl inside of you that feel really sensitive right now, what does she need?
[00:06:08] And often the answer is like, you don't have to take things so seriously. Just go and have some fun. Take a break. Just go and have an nap. Often it's something so small that my then body indicates what I actually need in that moment, and I almost treat it like I'm communicating with a toddler because when we're in the heat of the moment, and that feeling is really big, if you have kids who know what I'm talking about, when the feelings are really big, and all we're gonna do is trying to settle that really big feeling, guess what?
[00:06:42] We also get them as adults, but what we do as adults, we don't operate with gentle parenting for ourselves. And now I'm like, fuck, yes I am. We gotta start to do this whole gentle parenting on ourselves. So what I do, I'm like, wow, I'm feeling really sensitive. [00:07:00] I can feel my, my whole body kind of close up and this does not feel good for me.
[00:07:05] I feel really shaky on the inside. Oh, Rebecca, I can really feel that you are feeling really sensitive right now. I see you. What do you need right now? What do you need right now? Think I just need to catch up with a friend, or I just need to go and ask my husband to make me a cup of tea, or I just need to go for a walk, or I just need to, I just need to loosen up and not take things so seriously.
[00:07:29] Okay, great. Go and do that, and then we'll come back and deal with this later. When you learn to be kind to yourself, and again, I know that you have heard this so many times, be kind to yourself. Be your own best friend. Cringe yes, but are you though? This is what I'm saying all the time. It's not about what you know, it's about what you do with the information that you know.
[00:07:56] This is why I'm like so sick of hearing people. I've [00:08:00] heard that before. Yeah. But why haven't you done something about it? And I am actually, something that I am is that I am ruthless when it comes to stuff like that. Don't come winch to me if you know what to do about it, but you haven't done it. Come back to me and have a conversation when you've gone and done it and you still feel like shit, then we can have a conversation and then we'll work at something else.
[00:08:24] So I wanna ask you right now, are you showing yourself a lot of love and compassion that you need right now? So there's just a version of you, maybe there's some inner child work, there's just a version of you. The perfectionist in me comes up a lot. And this stems from my childhood and this stems from me like dancing and performing on stage and wanting to be, maybe it's a second child thing, like always wanted to be good and I wanna do well.
[00:08:50] Brodie said to me the other day, he said, gosh, Rebecca, you are so mindful, like all the time, like every interaction that you have and every person that you meet and everything that you do, he was like, [00:09:00] you just want things to be so perfect. And I was like, yeah, I really do. I really do. I'm so mindful the way I make people feel, and I'm so mindful that, you know, I wanna make sure that everyone has a good experience and I want everyone in my world to feel like they're the only one in my world.
[00:09:14] And he goes, are you not exhausted? And I'm like, yeah, a little bit. A little bit. I, I get exhausted some, sometimes. Because you know that you're still a good human and you still care without it letting it like actually drain you and you feeling it consumes you. And it was such a beautiful moment where I could actually catch myself in the moment to go, oh, I am operating with this perfectionist feeling in me to the point where I finished my day feeling really flat and with no energy.
[00:09:49] And when I learned to pick that up, that that pattern and that behavior in me start to show up quite frequently. First of all, I don't make her wrong anymore. [00:10:00] Especially when the perfectionist comes out. I love her. I need a perfectionist on my team so I can be like, I see how much you want to control doing all of these things, and you also believe that no one else can do it better than you right now.
[00:10:14] I actually love that about you, Rebecca, but also where is your time best spent right now? What would it feel like not having to control this right now? What do you need right now? What would be the worst possible outcome that could happen if you actually let someone else do this instead of you having to control everything?
[00:10:32] Oh my God, that would feel so good. Great. When we actually start to operate and start to meet ourselves where we're at, versus like looking away from it, pretending that it's not there because it is there and if we ignore it, it will show up even bigger with even bigger emotions, and that will cause even a bigger ripple effect.
[00:10:55] Can you see what I'm saying here? So instead of like ignoring it, no, I don't feel fear. No, I'm [00:11:00] not overwhelmed. No, I'm fine. I'm not stressed to be like, I'm fucking stressed right now. Beautiful. I see you. I love you. What do you need right now? All of the big things that we're feeling and all of the big feelings that we have, they're not so big anymore because you are learning to meet yourself with love and compassion, and most of us know to do all of those things, yet we don't do it.
[00:11:24] And I think this is like, as my business is growing at a very rapid rate right now, I need to be even more mindful of this. So it's not because you are at my level or going into new levels and you know you're becoming more and more and more successful. That doesn't mean that I don't have feelings. That doesn't mean that I don't navigate tough times inside of my business.
[00:11:47] That does not mean that, you know, I sometimes cry at night and I have a shit day, and that doesn't mean that I don't feel all of these things. But what it means [00:12:00] is that I now have the tools to support that version of me. So I don't make her wrong. I don't make her go away. I take up my little toolkit and I support her because I know as soon as I give her the love and attention that she needs, she's not gonna be as powerful and as big.
[00:12:24] It's like when you're dealing with the toddler and they're having a meltdown. If you bring out your toolbox with all the little tricks that you can do to make them feel better, often it's like a three minute moment and then it's over. Yet we like ignore it because we see it is wrong or is bad, or I'm weak or I'm not good enough.
[00:12:46] We just gotta stop that. And what happens if you like I welcome all of it. I am the most, I feel like I am the most sensitive fucking person on this planet. I have the biggest [00:13:00] perfectionist person sitting inside of me. I am a people pleaser. I am a overachiever. I am this. I'm like, what if you can be like, fuck, I welcome all of it.
[00:13:11] Come at me, I've got you. Let's not ignore any of those versions of you. Let's welcome them. And now instead, let's develop a little toolkit to make them less powerful, to make them stop you in your way. And this is why I am navigating moving in my business on my good days, on my bad days, because I've got a really solid premium toolkit that I can pull out to support every version of me when I need it.
[00:13:40] So I think this is just the conversation I wanna highlight today, that whatever you are feeling right now, can you just give that a moment and actually sit with that? Why are you feeling frustrated? Why are you feeling overwhelmed right now? Why are you angry? Why are you feeling this frustration come out in all different areas of your life?
[00:13:59] [00:14:00] Instead of like, I'm not frustrated. How can you meet that person, that version of you, to be like, maybe you just need a fucking break. Maybe you need to go and check in at spa for half a day. Maybe you need to have a really hard conversation with someone. Maybe you need to burn a few bridges that are not supporting your evolution.
[00:14:18] What do you actually need right now? Because when you can start to meet yourself with this level of compassion, the flow and the ease and things feeling really effortless will start to show up for you. But when we are operating, like we have this label that is fixed, I am not confident. Guess what? I wasn't confident when I started this podcast.
[00:14:46] I don't feel confident all the time, but I know what I need to do. In the moments where I don't feel confident, I've got my little toolkit, I bring it out and then I keep moving no matter what. And when the [00:15:00] perfectionist has come up, first of all, I love it her, and I'm like, I thank you. I love that you have such attention to detail that you care so deeply about everything that you do.
[00:15:09] I fucking love that about you. But now it's not working in your favor. So we just gonna actually get the toolkit out and actually support that version of you because it's not, it's not helping you right now. And I think this is the most challenging part, especially if you don't have a coach or a mentor right now, they can help you actually call out a blind spot like that because often we don't know that we are operating from that space because we are so in the heat of the moment, we're so in it.
[00:15:35] We actually haven't taken the time to zoom out, and this is why I believe spaciousness and having that space in your calendar, a lot of white space, a lot of flow, a lot of spaciousness in your life. It's absolutely essential in order for you to have mental clarity. And this is another reason why my husband and I stopped drinking close to eight months ago now, that I was never a, like a heavy [00:16:00] drinker.
[00:16:00] We're talking like a glass of wine here or there, or maybe beer on the weekend. I was never a big drinker, but I also knew that the small amount that I had, it will play a part into my mental health and my mental clarity. So for me, it's a priority to be as sharp as possible because I am serving a lot of people right now.
[00:16:25] I need to look after myself. I need to look after my clients, and I also obviously need to look after my family and everything that comes with that. I need to be at my best. Knowing that I am not perfect. So instead of aiming to be perfect, I aim to really build on my toolkits so I can support all of the versions of me, you know, showing up for me in a light that is going to accelerate or support my growth.
[00:16:55] For instance, the last thing that I wanna mention before I wrap up today's [00:17:00] episode is, do you always have a choice? I don't know who needs to hear this right now, but you do have a choice whether you believe it or not, you are still choosing whatever is happening for you right now. If there's something inside of your business or inside of your private life, whatever is gone on for you right now, you have a choice.
[00:17:22] If this is around friendships or not pursuing your friendships, or if there is something else there that you are like, I'm so frustrated about this situation, you have a choice and every time you are not choosing, you are still choosing. I believe that we become free when we realize that we have the power to choose how we wanna live, who we wanna be surrounded with, how we wanna operate our businesses, how we wanna feel.
[00:17:52] How well we looked after ourselves, how we wanna live our lives. We get to choose [00:18:00] that, and I think this is when you can actually stop and take full responsibility for your life, for your business, the way you operate it, the way you run your business, the energy inside of your home right now, your current circumstance.
[00:18:18] What happens if you simply took responsibility for that? And maybe you have, and I'm proud of you if you have, but I think that was one of my biggest things in my evolution and the growth that I've had over the past couple of years, that I did not give that responsibility to anyone else but me. No coach, no mentor, no friend, no family, no one's opinion.
[00:18:42] It was my responsibility. To take complete ownership of my life, every part, trait, quality about me, developed a really fucking solid toolkit to support every version of me. [00:19:00] Then gain crystal clear clarity in terms of where I wanna go. And I knew in that moment, once I made up my mind. And up until this date, there is nothing that can stop me in my way, but I know that me as a person and the way I feel, and my internal state, my mental health, my wellness, my healthful stop is essential, my mental clarity.
[00:19:28] In order for me to get to where I wanna go, I need to make sure that I am at my best. So often it's not about what we know. It's about what we do with the information that we do have. Feel into this for you right now. How can you change something today that is going to support a version of you, a trait of you, a current situation, to change [00:20:00] that to, to try and go in a different direction, or even amplify the things that are working really well in your life right now.
[00:20:09] I want you to take a moment and realize how, actually, how powerful you are. And even if there are certain things in your life right now that you can't control, you can still control the way you look at those things and you can still control so many other things because don't try and control the things you can't control and fall victim to the things you can't control.
[00:20:32] I hope that you have loved today's episode. If you needed to hear today's episode, I will actually love if you dropped into my DMS and let me know to go. Rebecca, you were in my mind. That was just what I needed to hear. I'm also very excited to see you back here next week for another episode. I am wishing you the most wonderful day, and I will see you back next week.[00:21:00]
